Creating Deeper Connections with Your Kids

Connecting with, and showing love to my kids is the most important part of parenting for me. More than anything, I want them to understand that I will always love them unconditionally - no ifs, ands, or buts about it. 

Countless hours of research have proven the importance of parents unconditionally loving their children. Parental affection and support during childhood actually improves brain development, promotes resilience, and helps children become happier, healthier adults.

After studying child development in college and now raising three kids, I can see with my own eyes how my bond with my children is strengthened when I love them exactly as they need me to. How have I been able to do that? Well, I’m still learning, but I’ve found some ways to connect deeply with each one of my kids in the ways they each receive love best. Here's my advice.

Take the time to figure out what your child needs from you. What does she lean toward or away from? Getting familiar with the five love languages (quiz) is a great place to start. But I’ll let you in on a secret: we all love being loved in all the ways, which means you can’t mess this up! :) 

Book: "The 5 Love Languages of Children" by Gary Chapman

Experiment with connecting with your child in different ways and notice any changes in the feeling in your home. Pay attention to the ways your children behave toward you and toward each other. You’ll start to see love grow before your very eyes. And your heart will change too – it’s miraculous.

Here are a few suggestions for showing your child love in each of the 5 love languages. Tell me in the comments what you do to make your kids feel loved.

• Hug him until he breaks the hug.
• Pick him up and spin him around. 
• Give him a high five.
• Create a secret handshake to do when you see each other.
• Cuddle and watch a movie or show together.
• Give him a back/ hand tickle or rub.

• Look in her eyes and tell her you love her. 
• Set aside 5 minutes to just chat together.
• Write her a note.
• Tell her a joke. Listen to her jokes.
• Ask her an open-ended question and wait until she finishes answering, such as, “What do you like about ____?”

• Surprise him with something like:
• A new toy or book from the dollar store.
• Flowers from the yard.
• A coupon book of things you will do for him or things you can do together.
• A homemade gift just for him.

• A clean room.
• A little treat (homemade or store bought).
• Organize her toys.
• Do her chore for the day.

• Sit down and join in whatever he’s playing.
• Color with him.
• Go on an outdoor activity like a bike ride or walk.
• Play a board game together.
• Watch a show together.